The world is obnoxiously serious.
But it doesn’t have to be. This column is testament to that. In a life full of
nuisance, pain, and strife there can be found a rich abundance of hilarity and
laughter. Sports may seem a trivial and complex choreographed performance, but
it’s really just a game. And what are games? Fun. Just like this column.
I think Thad Castle from Blue Mountain State summed up hockey
fairly well when he said, “They play their sport on the hardest surface in the
world with knives on the bottom of their feet.”
You need to be a badass to be a hockey player. You need to be able
to rock sick flow and a shirt and tie with equal enthusiasm. And few do it
better in the Wisconsin Intercollegiate Conference than junior forward Kyle
How old were you when you first started skating?
“Two and a half.”
Approximately how many times have you fallen on the ice since
What’s your favorite thing about nachos?
Is your slapshot better than Happy Gilmore’s?
If you could go pro in a sport other than hockey, which would it
Would you rather drink out of the Stanley Cup or the Goblet of
“Stanley Cup for sure.”
Who let the dogs out?
Do you have Gangnam Style?
“No, hate that song.”
How often do you sharpen your skates?
“Two times a week.”
Would you rather have a break up song written about you by Taylor
Swift or Adele?
What’s the first thing you do when you get home from a game?
“Eat as much food as I can.”
What advice would you give to kids developing an interest in
“Stick with it as long as you can, best sport in the world.”
Puck: “I want it.”
Mighty Ducks: “Wu,
Wu, Wu, Kenny Wu.”
because I always fall down.”
Deep fried Oreos: “Gross.”
Bacon shortage: “How do pigs go extinct?”