Miss Independent
Emma St. Aubin
estau255@uwsp.edu

I enjoy being alone, and I am not just saying that to make myself feel better about being single. I truly enjoy being an independent woman, and I think society puts too much pressure on finding a soul mate.

Don’t get me wrong. I dream about getting married, having children and living a perfect scene from a “Leave it to Beaver” episode, but what’s the rush? I feel like society is constantly making us feel the need to be in a relationship, shunning us into a future of cats if we’re single. Being single right now does not foreshadow a life of loneliness. To me, it simply means I am free to discover myself while checking out men as I please.

We tend to think of being alone as something that takes over you, making everything inherently less pleasant. It is feared because we are taught that if we are alone, we have reached a point where no one wants to be around.

We all have pity for the “alone.” We see someone in the corner of a restaurant having a meal by himself, and our first response is always pity. However, this is strange to me because being alone somewhere can be a wonderful thing. Escaping the world and being in solitude can be incredibly peaceful and glorious.

It is in these moments of solitude where you realize how great being alone is. There is happiness in the simple pleasures found in solitude that are often hidden in the presence of others: singing to yourself, cuddling with a teddy bear, eating an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s and farting without shame.

Quite frankly, I do not understand how people wouldn’t enjoy being alone, especially as a college student. This is not only in terms of peacefulness and relaxation. As a single lady, I have the freedom to go wherever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. I can fall asleep in peace and quiet in my own bed, rather than attempting to block out snoring and a blanket-hogger. Most importantly, I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.

I will admit that sometimes I miss the goodnight texts and the long hugs, but hell, what are mothers for?

I have dated the clingy, the athletic, the shy, the controlling, the charming, the smart, the demeaning, the handsome, the funny and the dull, but I have yet to find someone that I can simply relate to or see myself enjoying a full and exciting life with. After years of being in these relationships, I have learned that life is not simply about finding a partner—it’s about finding yourself.

Maybe it’s not aloneness that we most fear, but rather what leads to aloneness: the heartbreak.

But once you spend enough quality time alone, you will realize that being alone is not as dreadful as it is portrayed to be. In fact, you might just be in wonderful company.