None of us want to look like the before picture on a
weight-loss ad, but we also don’t want to give up fried food and couches for
green stuff and crunches.
Maybe we should have ordered a smaller size, eaten an
apple instead or gone to the gym this morning, but we didn’t… for the past few
weeks. Maybe you are okay with that. However, this is usually when the shame
kicks in, and the diets begin.
You want it all or nothing. Cutting out sweets and eating nothing but
dark leafy vegetables sounds easy now, but just wait until the end of the week. Let’s face it. If you can continue eating
like this for any period of time, you must be a the spawn of Hercules because no
one can crash-diet forever and stay both fit and healthy.
Today’s lunch includes carrots dipped in low-fat ranch,
a light vanilla yogurt, a sandwich made with 35-calorie bread and a diet Coke. Although you have successfully cut approximately
400 calories from your diet, you have consumed approximately 400 weird,
“I’ll start tomorrow,” you say, scrolling through the
“health and fitness” tab in Pinterest while mindlessly shoving all things consumable
into your mouth. Tomorrow comes. Repeat.
Most dining experiences these days include scouring the
menu to guess which of the foods have been processed the least. Nothing enters
your mouth without weighing its caloric impact and nutritional value. To avoid chocolate-y temptations, you make
sure everyone around you is healthy, too. Health food comments shoot from your
mouth like cannons at the dinner table.
Hey, it’s for their best interest.
“I’ll just burn it off at the gym” Dieter
Every time you eat, you trot off to the gym to try to
reverse anything that wouldn’t look good in a swimsuit. If you didn’t eat before the gym, you head
straight home post-workout to make a protein shake. If you are serious enough about this fitness
stuff, you even bring that green drink into your classes to show everyone how
both physically and mentally strong you are by choking it down at 9 a.m.
You eat cookies at every meal because a five-year-old
on TV told you that they are nutritious, but you stay away from the bread aisle
because you heard that carbs will make you fat. Last week, you were collecting “points,” and
next week you and Jenny Craig will be BFFs.
If Dr. Oz recommended rubbing jalapenos on your legs to get rid of
cellulite, you would do that, too.
You eat fresh, organic food all week, but once the
weekend arrives, you have no idea what is in half of the alcohol you drink. In attempt to stay somewhat within your daily
recommended calorie limit, you eat a small salad for lunch so you can spend
your calories on drinking—until you end up somewhere that serves chicken-bacon-ranch
You will never admit that what you are doing is a diet. You have been incorporating more fresh
ingredients into your diet, making things yourself and eating slowly—you are
gung-ho on sticking to this plan for a lifetime. Last time this happened, you ended up going
solo through the drive-through at Culver’s because you didn’t want your friends
to find out that you were eating ice cream and french fries dipped in tartar
Looking to get your eating patterns back on track? Check out ChooseMyPlate.gov for resources on
weight management, healthy eating tips and more nutritional information provided
by the United States Department of Agriculture.