signifies, not only the start to a new year of classes, but also a new year of
intramural athletics. My first two years of collegiate intramurals have been
marred with minor strains, minimal success, moderate heartbreak, and much
questioning of the legitimacy of my dwindling skills.
But I have learned
many things in my first two years of intramurals, about myself as well as the
sporting life. Now I would like to impart some of that wisdom onto this year’s
This isn’t high
school anymore; you don’t have the luxury of joining a team and being
physically active every day. In college you have to make time to get exercise,
and intramurals are a good place to start so take advantage of the opportunity.
Even if it is once a week, you get the chance to work off some of the Toppers
and beer you consumed over the weekend, or Tuesday night.
Speaking of beer,
the only intramural game you should show up to intoxicated is bags. There’s
limited movement, little chance for injury, and because the game was basically
born and raised outside of stadiums during tailgates it almost goes hand in
Never show up drunk
for a basketball game. Believe me, the idea has been researched by plenty of
people before you, and will most likely continue to be experimented with. But
save yourself the headache and possible puke session, and don’t do it. However,
coming into a game buzzed is a different story.
stretching. Don’t jack up your hamstring or throw out your arm for an hour of
exertion that won’t count for much in the long run. How are you supposed to run
from a cop, not saying you should, if you blew out your Achilles playing
tennis? You don’t need to do P90 X for 10 minutes, just get your legs warm,
your body will thank you.
Don’t be a douche.
Pimping every single you get in softball, holding your hand up after you clang
your twentieth three pointer off the backboard, and getting in a quarterback’s
grill after you yank his flag a yard behind the line doesn’t make you tough. It
makes people hate you and wish awful things upon you. Talking some trash and
being a little cocky are fine, even part of the game. But if you make an ass of
yourself, just take your ball and go home.
Don’t run up the
score. Not everyone who plays intramurals is an all star. Some of them maybe
haven’t even played the game they’re playing. Not everyone was voted second
team all-conference, and most improved your senior year like you were. This is
a lesson that you should have learned in middle school; if you’re bulldozing a
team back off a little bit at the end. This ties in with the above guideline.
teammates. Because everyone on your team might not be what people would call
“good” at stuff, they may need an extra pick me up. Instead of screaming at
your compadre after he misses a fast break layup, give him a firm, yet
comforting pat on the fanny and tell him to “Go get em’ next time.” You’re not
playing for the state championship. You’re not really playing for anything
except for the fun of it. Speaking of that…
Have fun. Yes, I
just went old school tee ball coach on you. If you’re not having fun then
you’re just wasting valuable…study time. So do yourself a favor and play
something you like or give up the spot to someone else.
Intramural athletics is a unique blend
of athletic ability and an “A for effort” mentality, but they’re very easy to
enjoy. If you follow the guidelines that I have laid before you this season
should be as competitive and successful as any other. You can even sign up
without putting your beer down, so why not right?