Works in Progress

Boss �I take good care of my chicks and eggs�
Employee � Yes, but do you tend them and feed them well when they get older?

When I was young I was afraid, I think to lose my job
So I did not make waves, afraid of what? Mmmm�
When I was middle aged I was afraid I think to look a fool
So I kept things to my self, afraid of what? Mmmm�
Now I am in the twilight of my career
I don�t much give a damn if I lose my job or I look a fool
So I pick my fights with care, I say what I need to, to feel good
Oh yes, I would like tenure, just to say I have it
And yes, I would like to retire as a full professor
But, if I don�t, I will just get another job and begin again
Beginnings are exciting and fun.

Boss �I take good care of my chicks and eggs�
Employee �That�s nice, but I can take care of myself�
Now that�s confidence!

AFRAID - may be staying and making good
Making good, what an odd feeling, mmmm�

I have often wondered what we are all afraid of, why we do not speak up, why we do not fight the system, why we do not take on the establishment of education and make it our own? We could do no worse of that I have no doubt. So what�s the problem? Are we so use to being the oppressed that the thought of success is an overwhelming thought?

Nothing fruitful ever comes when plants are forced to flower in the wrong season.

There are children whose season of spring lasts a lifetime - that's okay
Children who bloom every now and then
Children who bloom bright the entire year
Children, who never bloom, but are forever green
Children who, every now and then, grow, hibernate, bloom
Children come in all colors, sizes, shapes
Children don�t know about seasons
Each of their fruit is rare and unique, no two alike - that�s okay.

Consider this poem� my hat thrown into the ring,� joining Alfie Kohn (Education in a Dark Time, pg 1&4) and Susan Ohanion�s (Learning Cursive and the CAT, pg 5) recent comments regarding the standard�s movement. Their comments can be found in the ASCD Education Update V43, No.1 January 2001.

Saw a movie tonight and here are some thoughts. Why is it we (educators/education) always assume the worst of students. Why is it easier for us to give credit for athletic performance and not for academic performance? What is it about school/society that stifles students being proud of their academic gifts as they are of their athletic gifts?

Personal thoughts: Having a disability is like being black in an all white school. You look like everyone else, have the same intelligence as everyone else, have the same abilities but because of what they believe a b/d to be when filtered through their eyes the person is less brilliant. A little like being a rainbow and having bleach poured over you. We need to accept people for who and what they are, for their gifts and for their empty hands. It is their empty hands we see and bring into a clear focus. What we need to understand is that if we bring the gifts in to focus the hands will not be empty long. Then we need to decide, is it our eye site or their empty hands that need to focus?

Why was this so close to home for me? Communication, specifically the spoken and written word, marks a person as intelligent, not their thought process or the ability to think critically. Therefore, schools that produce students who can succeed in a social situation are more accepted than those who can succeed in advancing humanity in a non-social way. Who made this so? People with language based problems need only the ears of the strong language person to fill in the gaps to determine the gifts held within.

I see a rainbow bright and clear
There are riches to be found within
The sun comes but the rainbow is resilient
For that�s what rainbows do shine bright and clear

The rain comes with no respect
Washing away the rainbow
Retreating rain expects a rainbow bright and clear
Some rainbows are not resilient

I met with a student who is student teaching she had lots of questions and talked about her upcoming unit on poetry. I was thinking about this as I went to bed, woke up and wrote this.

I walk down the hall toward the sixth grade class.
I am to observe a student teacher in her third day of a poetry project. The class is mostly boys. I open the door, a young man skips toward me with one of those grins only a boy of eleven can grin and asks, �Who are you?�

�Who am I� I can�t resist, I feel an opportunity for a theatrical performance. I place my closed hand on my chest, straighten my back, tip my head toward the heavens and begin.

I have been through the doors of hell known as school.
My skin has been seared by the torch of symbols and expectations.
I have been ground into the sands by the weight of unknown knowledge.

(I lower my head and look into a serious face, I lower my voice to almost a whisper and continue.)

I have been through the windows of freedom, school.
I have found other torches to light my way.
I have walked on the sands of knowledge.

I am the receiver of the gift of questions, grins and serious faces.
I am your teachers� teacher, and who, young man are you?

He backs away keeping an eye on the strange stranger, me. He walks toward his teacher and announces, �Your teacher is here.� I hear in his voice, �I�m glad she�s yours and not mine.� I have left him wondering. As I walk toward the desk to take a seat, I too wonder, what will he ask when I�m gone? Will it be �who was she?� or will it be �how did she do that?� or �what did she mean by windows of freedom, torches, and sands of knowledge?� One can only hope.

It can be:
      Thick or thin
          Shallow or deep
     Straight or curve
Rough or smooth
   Cold or warm
      Dirty or clean

It can:
Babble
         Move slowly
      Roar
   Move quickly
             Whisper
                  Creep

I think I will join the river
Learn her secrets
Under I go
Streaming along, gathering
Gathering, gathering
Yes, I have the answer

"I have friends," said the little White egg
"My friends are Brown and beautiful."
"You need to play with your White friends" � words from White adults

"I have friends," said the little Brown egg
"My friends are White and beautiful."
"You need to play with your Brown friends" � words from Brown adults

Little friends both Brown and White sneak away to play
They play hard, their shells begin to chip away
They laugh, skip, jump, soon, their shells are gone

Brown and White adults, concerned, begin to look for the little ones
Worried now, they collaborate, well kind of�

Adults hear laughter, see skipping and jumping, they begin to rush now
Anxious to see their little ones

Squealing with delight to see the adults and to show off their new suits, the little ones stand side-by-side, under their shells they looked exactly the same. They found they were more flexible, more free to play, and everyone liked one another.

When I was young I could not read or write.
�I would like a pen pal, too.�
Teachers would say, �Not now, not ever.�

As I got older I could read and write very slowly.
�I would like a pen pal, too.�
Teachers would say, �You�re too slow, so, not now, not ever.�

When I was in high school I didn�t much care for reading and writing.
�I don�t want a pen pal,
Remember, you said, �Not now, not ever.��

Well, I am much older now.
I have a Ph. D.
Teachers say, �Now you can have any pen pal you want.�

I looked and looked for just the right pen pal.
But nowhere was there a pen pal just for me.
Not now, not ever.

Then just the other day, from across the ocean it came.
There on a computer screen was a note from Cedric.
He wanted to be pen pals.

I asked lots of questions, he sent pictures,
He is just right, the one I have been waiting for.
We will be pen pals, now and forever.

Thanks, Cedric, for wanting to be my pen pal!

__________________________________________

All students should be included in classroom activities. Think of the
ways I could have been included. I could have dictated to someone,
used a tape recorder, or a video camera. These are just a few ways.
When I got the message back someone could have read it to me, or I
could have just listened.

Dayle A. Upham 2/27/2001

Students Say the Darndest Things

Early in April 2003 I had a chance to talk with all of the middle and high school students with special needs in a large Wisconsin school district. After sharing my school experiences with them, I let them know I was also going to be talking to their teachers in the afternoon. I asked them if I could take a message to the teachers from them. What did they want me to say or share with the teachers so the teachers would better understand them as students? The following is what they shared with me:

Be nicer and don�t yell at me.

Don�t tell me that I can�t do something. I want to try.

Teach slower.

Don�t get crabby with me when it takes me a couple of days to take a test. I�m trying to do the best I can.

Everyone learns differently and understands in a different way.

Understand me a little better, explain things in a different way.

Understand that I might need different ways to help me take a test. Don�t make me feel like I�m doing something wrong.

Go through things for a couple of days so I get more review.

It�s hard for me to come up to your level all the time.

Trust me.

Use a variety of teaching ways. Show me, tell me less, and let me do things.

Think outside of the box � I do! My answers may be different than yours, but they�re not always wrong.

It�s hard for me to walk out (of the regular class to a resource room) when I take a test. I feel stupid.

Don�t penalize me for getting help. I wish I didn�t need the help.

Be willing to break down assignments into smaller pieces. I might need more help and time and don�t get mad if I do.

Notes on the board help me.

Things that help you don�t always help me. Tests that are too long are scary.

I have a hard time taking a test from the book because you test me on things that are different than what you talked about in class. I�m lost on the test.

I feel like an idiot when you ask me to read out loud and I can�t. It makes me afraid to go to your class.

Don�t make comments about my test or homework grades where other kids can hear them. You embarrass me.

I�m listening when I�m doodling.

I get stressed when taking a test. I worry about the weight of the test.

Grade me on what I did right, not what I did wrong.

We want to learn as much as other kids do, it�s just harder.

I need my accommodations. Please understand that.

Don�t treat me like a child.

Cumulative finals are really hard for me because my memory is not that good.

Word banks help me a lot on fill-in-the- bland questions.

I like multiple-choice and to be able to make those choices.

Get to know me before you judge me.

Do you see anything here not easily done in the classroom by a classroom teacher?

Me either!

In the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on April 1, 2001 there was an article on
�Haiku�. After writing �The Shell Game� I tried my hand at my newly found
Japanese poetry. (5-7-5)

I had the opportunity to vacation in Acapulco, Mexico over the 2001 spring break.
While sitting and enjoying myself one morning I wrote the following poem.

For those who made my dreams come true and shared their country�s gifts with me, the friendly, and kind, hard working people of Acapulco, Mexico.

Spring Vacation March 2001, Acapulco Mexico

                             Dayle A. Upham
                                   October 1, 2001
                                   (5-7-5)

When I was little and I would cry because I didn�t understand, you would hold me, saying some day you will. How did you know or was it just your wishes? When I started school and didn�t follow what the teacher was explaining you tried to explain it differently.

I look at you now and I see in your eyes all the dreams realized, apprehension of what is yet to come!

You always had a solution for me an example to share a shoulder to cry on, what do I have for you except my presence. How do I help you with this final stage of your life?

Some how I feel certain you would have just the right thing to say, the answer, or just what I needed to guide my way if the situation were reversed.

You will not sit still when you feel there has been an injustice to yourselves or
to your students.

You will be involved in politics, and make changes for the good of all teachers and students.

You will change education for the betterment of all people. Education, after all, should be a lifelong experience.

You will eliminate the prejudice that exists in the world by working on your own and sharing your work with your students.

I have had enough people tell me how awful our educational system is, when I know for a fact that there are many wonderful teachers, happy students and parents. Yes, we need to make changes, but teachers need to make those changes, not politicians. Our future is bright. We have incredible resources.

Pat,
I have been thinking of you today and remembering how I felt the day I was interviewed. It was one of the best experiences I have ever had. My hope is that you find it a similar experience. I was going to purchase a card for you but Kirby and Slick kept popping into my mind and encouraging me to write the poem that follows. Have a great day and enjoy.

trimmed, the bamboo shoots needed to be cut every other day (I remember thinking,

�Why do they grow here? I thought they only grew in the jungle.�), put out the dump,

remember all the work, but, the best and most wonderful time was when it was done.

together like a lounge chair, with another smaller limb acting as a footstool. When

air smelled clean. I could see the clouds overhead and sitting there, I make them

into ducks, dinosaurs, and butterflies: it seemed every animal imaginable passed

whelming beauty would be there to look forward to. Only Tree and I could know what it was like to see the clouds float

Summer time away from home
Five years gone, yet summer always spent at home
Not this summer
Kids get home sick, Adults don�t
Here- no family, flat, close to work, same daily routine, friends
Home � The smell of the ocean, mountains, sisters, familiar roads, shops, roadside stands, accents, weather, food
Strange � this feeling
Need closeness to those long passed � mom, dad, grandparents, friends

Home is not a place where you live and have things it�s part of who you are,
where you began

Being home sick - young, mom said I would out grow it
    Not so � you can:
        Feed it
        Shop
        Read
        Work until you drop
        Sleep
        Take pills
        Cry
        Drink
        Talk about it
        Rationalize it
But in the end it�s still a hole you can�t fill
It comes and goes and�    it hurts
It make your head heavy
Your throat tight
And your heart� ache

It�s a place where the past, present and future all exist at the same time mixed together like a tossed salad

What things use to be
Birthdays- family, friends, presents, cake, anticipation, laughter, fun, hugs, cards

What they are like
Lonely, lonely, lonely, cards and presents sent from a far, phone calls

What you hope for in the future
Family, friends, cake, anticipation, laughter, fun, lots of hugs

Ya, I know-
        Home is where you make it
        Friends can be family
        Live today for yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to be

But, I have a hole �
        I don�t know how to close it or fill it
        It�s a ghost that comes and goes
        It can be a canyon or a pin prick
        It feels the same as kid or adult

It�s only eleven days before my sister comes to visit and 6 weeks before my buddy comes I hope their presents and hugs make my canyon smaller and they take a little of my new �home� with them and leave a little of �home� with me �

The first day of the season.
We bought bait, had poles, tackle boxes, and buckets.
Buckets for the many fish we would catch.
Just like last year.

We had our food, snacks, chairs, and patience.
The weather cold, the water rough.
The wind blew hard against our faces.
Not much like last year.

In a half an hour, a bite, a fish caught.
Northern Pike, large, 29-30 inches, on the stringer, into the water.
Two flips, the claps opened, eight hands grabbed, grabbed.
Slippery, the fish was gone, not even a picture.
Not much like last year.

We talked, laughed, and watched red and white bobbers.
We ate, watched birds, shared stories of the winter.
Shared the wonderful feeling of being outside.
Just like last year.

Last year seven Northern pike.
Not this year, not another bite.
What a day!
We spent time with good friends.
Just like last year.

Next year on the first day those fish better watch out.
We�re coming again, with goodies for them and for us.
We�re going fishing, the four of us.
Just like last year.

Fair, I sit under a palm tree.
The sun above the huge palms.
Safe from rays, I read.

The sun above me.
I put on a wide brim hat,
sun block # 50,
a tee shirt,
a towel over my legs,
my sunglasses.
I wait for the sun to move
Above the huge palms.

The sun, above the huge palms.
I remove the wide brim hat,
the tee shirt,
the towel,
my sunglasses.

I had the opportunity to vacation in Acapulco, Mexico over the 3/01 spring break.

This is the end of the winter season.
It�s the fifth day of gray and sub zero temperatures.

It�s been a long cold, winter.
March is coming, with it, the first day of spring.

I want the:
        Sun to shine
        Birds to sing their songs
        Little green buds to pop up and out
        Sidewalks and roads to be dry
        Bulky coats and boots in the closet
        Winter to be over.

I close my eyes, I feel the warmth of the bright sun and a soft spring breeze on my face.
I see the yellow green of spring.
And hear songs so familiar. Birds are signing.

Well, tomorrow is another day.
I am sure the sun will shine, the temperature will rise�

I have written a book.
    �You will be lucky to graduate from high school!�
I am thinking of writing another.
    �If one book was impossible, what does it imply if I write another?�
If reading and writing are my difficulties, why do it?
    �That I am being ridiculous. It�s unattainable, maybe? - Why is it those who should believe do not?!�
Because teachers and others said it was impossible! And�
    �Does it take more energy to praise than to discourage?�
I believe all people are capable given support, encouragement, and alternatives.
    �Do those with academic difficulties threaten the system if they succeed?�
We should shout to our young, you are wonderful, astonishing, magnificent, one of a kind.
    �What do we gain if they fail? What would we gain if they succeeded?�
Come, be defiant and determined. Try. You can. You will because we know you are unique!
    "We know how to fail. The research tells us so�
My conscience shouts, Do it! Succeed! Thrive! And survive the educational system.
    �Success may lead us to a new way of viewing the world. Insight, understanding, acceptance of              ourselves and others.�
I will do it for those who follow who have difficulties and for those who should believe and do not!

I have been thinking about writing another book or adding to the one already done.
While thinking about doing so, I was also thinking about all the reasons why I should
or should not. I could not make up my mind, so, while I was still pondering I wrote
the above poems one inside the other, yet working together. This represents my
inner turmoil.

       Communication skills
        Their strengths
        Things they need to work on � weaknesses
        To have lofty goals and how to build bridges to achieve them
        How to work toward independence
        To form support groups
        How to use their strengths to support their weaknesses
        Many survival skills
        Life skills
        How to be a valued member of a team
        How to participate in a meeting
        How to take control of their lives

After you have done all that, assist other teachers in becoming advocates for their students
Also assist parents in understanding that their child needs independence

Remind parents that to learn, children need to make mistakes, mistakes are not bad, they are a learning tool, and that failure, is another subject.

Always remember, parents (like yourself) want to spare the child by smoothing the path, yet a life without experiences feels hollow.

Parents and other adults have a job, it�s to open doors for the young, and hold the doors open no matter what.

Parents and other adults have a job, provide the necessary skills for the young to pass through the door.

Our youth have a job. To walk, run, or craw� through the door.
The more doors they pass through the more independent they become.
Life is not always easy, nor is it always fun
But we as adults and our young people have a choice�
Dependence or independence?

Which will adults provide for our youth?
Which will our youth choose?
What part will you play?

I was attending a conference and many professionals and parents were discussing ways of making academics and life easier for students with disabilities, (�We need to spare them from academic failure, they already face hardships with their disability.�) I feel strongly that these students do not need to be saved (they are strong, determined, and persistent) they need skills to become independent � it�s up to us to make sure this happens.

Are like mercury
Hard to hold
Like a tree
Bending in the wind
Like a cool breeze on a warm day
Unassuming, yet welcomed

They almost always involve
    Compromise
    Listening
    Respect of others
    Time
    Honoring differences
    Lots of compliments

This essay is a celebration of the amazing teachers and future teachers that I have had the privilege to know on a daily basis for the past fourteen years. As a middle school teacher for six years and now a teacher of teachers for eight years, I have seen many students and many teachers. Most are truly amazing people who do astonishing things. After observing many teachers, I have made a list of ten plus one qualities I believe these outstanding teachers possess.

In the next decade we are going to need between 3.5 and 4 million new teachers. As the baby boomers retire, they will be replaced by younger and inexperience teachers. Will these younger teachers be able to fill the gap? My belief is that not only will they fill the gap, they will also make major changes in the field of education. These new teachers are going into the profession better educated, have more experience with students, and are truly ready to take the baton and run. Why do I feel this way? Because everyday I witness students who possess the qualities I have observed in the outstanding teachers.

Being able to change your plans at a moment�s notice is truly an art. Teachers spend a tremendous amount of time writing out lesson plans, making handouts, gathering materials, making accommodations and modifications, planning down to the minute. But I don�t remember more than a few days in my teaching career that the plan actually worked. Something always interfered with my best intentions. A visitor stopped by, someone had a better idea, someone was ill, or an unplanned event sneaked into the schedule, just to name a few. But that�s life. Teachers make the adjustments and move on. Many people can�t do that. A teacher must be able to move from one situation to another with ease and make certain students do not get lost in the shuffle.

There are many ways to demonstrate this skill. Some teachers seem hyperactive. They get up in the morning and rush from one thing to another, going all day and all night, accomplishing many feats. Others are more focused but seem to gather students along the way, enticing and exciting them to follow the learning path. Even when teachers are sick, they seem to have this drive and a need to model positive behavior for students.

Teachers are understanding and compassionate of parents/guardians as well as students. Empathy for a person leaves the person with self-esteem and dignity in tact. Sympathy takes it away. Good teachers know the difference.

A good teacher goes beyond knowing the content. Good teachers learn continually and keep current in their fields. Good teachers also attend in-services, workshops, conferences, and take classes to remain current. This takes time, money, and energy.

Teachers must possess a healthy sense of humor. Laughing is a wonderful way to relieve tension. A teacher who is able to laugh at herself can divert potentially difficult situations. Often tough situations can be de-escalated with humor. Often teachers face situations in which they want to cry, but laughter can relieve the tension. Teachers and students can do and say the funniest things. We should all keep journals of these things.

As teachers, we witness all types of diversity. We must be tolerant of all people, regardless of race, socioeconomic status, religion or sex. We need to set the example of tolerance and provide all students with an equal opportunity to receive the greatest gift of all, an education.

Many students and parents do not have a mentor to provide them with guidance. The teachers I have observed have many resources at their fingertips to offer assistance in many different areas. Many parents of students with special needs and the students themselves do not know the IEP process, the educational lingo, or their rights; it�s our job to advocate for them.

Many students do not want to upset the status quo or take risks. When teachers try new approaches, they are setting an example and modeling for students. Curiosity can challenge students to go beyond and above the assignment. Risk-taking can prepare students for challenges in life and provides opportunities for creative thinking.

Often we want to give up on a student because there seems no way to assist them. We think we have exhausted all alternatives. We might take a rest, but successful teachers never give up. There must be someone, something, some agency, some stone we have not looked under, but we will succeed. In a quality teacher�s classroom, no student will go without support or encouragement.

Teacher�s budgets are usually quite small. But one would never know this most of the time. Teachers can make something out of nothing and make one think it�s worth a million dollars. They can invent the most outrageous ideas for lessons that capture all students. They are clever with their hands, their ideas, their time, materials, students, parents, assistants, grading, lessons, and their classroom environment. You name it, and they change it before your eyes. And, if one teacher can�t think of some way to make it happen, believe me, several teachers can.

Of course the most important quality is the ability to form relationships with students. That means gaining their trust and respect and without this teachers cannot be effective.

The goal of this essay is to celebrate, praise, and inspire future teachers. Frequently new teachers do not realize their potential. Teachers of the future are so important. With the mass of teachers retiring in the next decade, new teachers are our hope for the future. We must stop the negative talk about students and teachers, and focus on the strengths and potential of both teachers and students. There are many unique students and potentially great teachers; we need to celebrate their gifts.

With the current focus on standards and accountability, we must remember to prominently carry the banner of �students first,� and to keep focused on the positive strengths and commitment of those who chose this career to �make a difference.� As Susan Ohanian so richly writes, �The best thing we teachers have to take to our students is ourselves, who we are as people�the best we have to take to our students looks back at us from the mirror every morning. �Also Parker Palmer in The Courage to Teach shares that teachers who make a difference are teacher who �teach who they are.�

I see the diverse strengths of our new teachers entering the field, and they already know that what will be important in the future will be differences rather than similarities. As Robert Frost once remarked in a letter to poet, Louis Untermeyer, �in art, as in nature, we want all the differences we can get. In society too.� And we must ad